The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More Than We Think
Liu, Rim, Min & Min (2022) · Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 124(4) — online 2022, in print 2023
We use this paper in 2 places in the academy · 1 stated limit
What the study found
In a series of experiments with more than 5,900 people, the person who sent a message guessed how much it would be appreciated, and the person who received it said how much they appreciated it. Senders consistently guessed too low. The gap was larger when the message was a surprise.
What the study cannot prove
A series of experiments with more than 5,900 people. An independent team repeated one of the experiments with 742 people and found the same result, but the effect was small. The studies measure how much a message is appreciated. They do not measure whether the friendship starts again afterwards.
Limits we note on the exercises
An independent team repeated one of the experiments with 742 people. They found the same result, but the effect was small. The studies measured how much people appreciated the message, not whether the friendship started again.
Where we use it
We use this paper in 2 places in the academy. If the paper turned out to be wrong, we would have to change everything in this list.
In the topics · 1
Other papers used in the same places
These papers are used in the same topics and videos as this one. That does not mean the papers agree with each other. It only means that the same exercises use both.
Becoming Friends by Chance
Back, Schmukle & Egloff (2008)If You Need Help, Just Ask: Underestimating Compliance With Direct Requests for Help
Flynn & Lake (2008)How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend?
Hall (2019)The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness
Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone & Bator (1997)The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?
Boothby, Cooney, Sandstrom & Clark (2018)Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation
Kumar & Epley (2018)Research
A real study. We tell you what it found, how many people were in it, and what it can't prove.
You are free to read, link to and quote this page. If we claim more than this paper shows, please tell us at contact@suaviq.com. We read every correction, and corrections help us more than any other email.