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Research

If You Need Help, Just Ask: Underestimating Compliance With Direct Requests for Help

Flynn & Lake (2008) · Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1)

Relied on in 11 places across the academy · 8 stated limits

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What it found

Across lab and field studies, people underestimated — by as much as half — how likely others were to say yes to a direct, specific request.

People systematically underestimate how willing strangers are to say yes to a direct request, in part because they overweigh the effort involved and underweigh the social awkwardness of refusing.

People underestimate — by up to half — how likely others are to say yes to a direct, specific request.

People underestimated compliance with direct requests by as much as 50%, which means asking often fails in the most instructive way: they say yes.

What it does not show

Requests for help — directions, a phone, a favour — not invitations. The underestimate is robust across those settings; nothing in it is about asking somebody out.

And where we carry it further

The requests studied were for help and favours, not for someone's company. We are extending the finding, not reporting it.

Again: requests for help, not for a date. The direction is suggestive, not proof.

The requests studied were for help and small favours — not discounts, and not contact details. We are extending the finding, not reporting it.

The requests studied were favours between strangers, not fees or contracts. We extend the direction of the bias, not the numbers.

Requests for help, not invitations. The direction is suggestive, not proof.

Requests for help and favours between strangers, not invitations. We are extending the finding, and we say so.

Requests for help, not for a date. The direction is suggestive, not proof.

Requests for help rather than invitations. The direction is suggestive, not proof.

Where we rely on it

11 places in the academy. If this paper turned out to be wrong, this is the list that would have to change. Some of the instructions below are part of Gold; none of the findings are.

Cited alongside it

Papers that sit under the same topics and films. Not a claim that they agree with each other — only that the same exercises lean on both.

Research

A real study. We tell you what it found, how many people were in it, and what it can't prove.

Free to read, link to and quote. If we have carried this paper further than it goes, say so at contact@suaviq.com — corrections to this registry are the most useful mail we get.