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Research

Beautiful Mess Effect: Self–Other Differences in Evaluation of Showing Vulnerability

Bruk, Scholl & Bless (2018) · Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(2)

We use this paper in 13 places in the academy · 3 stated limits

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What the study found

People judged their own moments of vulnerability more harshly than the same moments in other people. In others, they saw them as courage, not weakness.

People judge their own vulnerability much more harshly than others judge it. Other people usually see it as courage.

People judge their own vulnerability more harshly than others judge the same act. This is called the beautiful mess effect.

People judged their own exposed moments much more harshly than others judged the same act. Others saw it as courage, not weakness.

See 4 more ways we describe the same finding

People judged their own acts of vulnerability more harshly than others judged the same acts. This is called the beautiful mess effect.

In seven studies, people judged their own acts of vulnerability, such as admitting a mistake or confessing feelings first, more harshly than observers judged the same act in someone else. Observers tended to see it as brave and attractive.

In seven studies, people judged showing vulnerability more negatively when they imagined doing it themselves than when they imagined someone else doing the same thing.

The difference came from how people think about the act. They picture their own vulnerability in concrete detail and other people's in general terms, and the general view is the more positive one.

What the study cannot prove

Most of the studies asked people to imagine situations, not to live them. They measured how differently people judge the same act in themselves and in others. They did not test whether being vulnerable improves a relationship.

Limits we note on the exercises

The studies measured confessions and apologies, not compliments, and mostly asked people to imagine situations.

Most of the studies asked people to imagine situations, not to live them, and they did not follow what happened to the relationship afterwards.

Most of the studies asked people to imagine situations such as admitting a mistake or asking for help. Losing your thought in a conversation was not one of them, so applying the finding here is our own step.

Where we use it

We use this paper in 13 places in the academy. If the paper turned out to be wrong, we would have to change everything in this list. Some of the exercise instructions below are part of Gold. You can read every finding for free.

Other papers used in the same places

These papers are used in the same topics and videos as this one. That does not mean the papers agree with each other. It only means that the same exercises use both.

Research

A real study. We tell you what it found, how many people were in it, and what it can't prove.

You are free to read, link to and quote this page. If we claim more than this paper shows, please tell us at contact@suaviq.com. We read every correction, and corrections help us more than any other email.