Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation
Kardas, Kumar & Epley (2022) · Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 122(3)
We use this paper in 5 places in the academy · 1 stated limit
What the study found
In a series of experiments, conversations went better than people predicted. People especially overestimated how awkward a deep conversation would be compared with a shallow one.
People regularly expect conversations, and serious ones most of all, to be more awkward than they turn out to be. That is why this feels riskier than it is.
In about a dozen experiments, people expected deep conversations with strangers to be more awkward and less enjoyable than they turned out to be. They chose shallower subjects than would have been good for them.
Deep conversations between strangers felt less awkward than people predicted, and created more connection and happiness than they predicted. The prediction error was larger for deep conversations than for shallow ones.
What the study cannot prove
The studies used strangers, in labs and in real settings, mostly in the United States. They measured the gap between expected and actual awkwardness. They did not measure the long-term effect of deeper conversations.
Limits we note on the exercises
Most of the studies paired people in a lab and gave them questions to ask. The direction of the error is well supported. Its exact size in a real bus queue has not been measured.
Where we use it
We use this paper in 5 places in the academy. If the paper turned out to be wrong, we would have to change everything in this list. Some of the exercise instructions below are part of Gold. You can read every finding for free.
In the topics · 3
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Epley & Schroeder (2014)Perceived Partner Responsiveness as an Organizing Construct in the Study of Intimacy and Closeness
Reis, Clark & Holmes (2004)Beautiful Mess Effect: Self–Other Differences in Evaluation of Showing Vulnerability
Bruk, Scholl & Bless (2018)A Cognitive Model of Social Phobia
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A real study. We tell you what it found, how many people were in it, and what it can't prove.
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